Thursday, February 28, 2008

Midol can't harness this rage

Oh, my poor, poor guy. He thought he was complimenting me when he said, "Really- I can't even tell you're pregnant. You don't look like you've gained any weight."

My lip began to quiver. A shaky wail escaped. "You mean I always look this fat?!?"

The road to hell is paved with good intentions...

So, hormones. What lovely little creatures they are. I mean, the only way to describe it is that feeling you get when you're watching the main character in a movie make one of those mistakes that you know could be avoided if everyone would just be open about what they're thinking or feeling (though of course no one ever is) and you know what's happening and how things are about to get hectic and all you want to do is shake them and say, NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! Except, the problem is that instead of it being a movie, you're watching yourself say the most neurotic things ever in a pitch that resembles the hysteria of a schizophrenic being put under arrest and could be used as damning evidence against you if someone wanted to challenge your competency to make legal decisions about your future. It's PMS 24/7 for nine months. Yayyy...

As BabyCenter.com explains, the surge of hormones your body is experiencing during pregnancy throws the levels of neurotransmitters in your body out of wack, which leaves you susceptible to massive mood swings. Magnifying these mood swings are high levels of anxiety about finances, your ability to be a good parent, and how large you've become.

There are a few strategies you can use to personally regulate your mood swings. The most important thing is to take a step back, breathe and think about what you're getting ready to say. It's pretty good advice on an average day to not speak in anger, but during pregnancy, this advice functions as law. You can take it back and blame it on the baby, but that excuse will get old real fast. Plus, if you can keep breathing on a regular basis, you might be able to avoid some of those massive blow-ups.

Eating right can help control the beast as well. As tempting as it may be to eat an entire box of shortbread cookies in one sitting (I know, I've done it), it doesn't help to stabilize your sugar levels, which can lead to lots and lots of mood swings. Eating foods that are especially rich in B6, such as bananas, peanuts, brown rice, eggs, avocado and whole grains, can help to keep your moods on an even keel, and aid in the development of neurotransmitters for your little one!

Another little piece of advice I would hand out is to be very careful of how you treat your significant other. The boy has begun to recognize when the Dr. Jekyll/Mr.Hyde transformation is about to occur in me, and will head for the hills at the first sign of twitching. He's been the target of one too many outbursts- none of which had any real basis to them- and I may have scarred him for life. Now, he and I had already honed our fighting skills into an art form, so it hasn't caused us to sleep in separate rooms, but in any other couple, I guarantee there'd have been some problems.

Remember, he's just as scared and confused as you are, and an outburst doesn't help to remedy that or the perceived offensive behavior of the moment. Men will wait on you hand and foot during this time period, but be careful not to turn into one of those Evil Stepmother Queens whose mandates are keeping Cinderfella from his Xbox Ball. I'm sure he's willing to go to far fewer of those galas than he used to, but he needs an outlet as well. Don't you forget.

After I had my pity party and my guy recovered from a state of utter bewilderedness, I muttered something about hormones, which made him laugh. He rolled his eyes, looked directly in mine and said, "Really? You think that was bad? Maybe this will be easier than I'd thought."

Only time will tell.

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