So, things I've learned about babies in my last month...
1. Milk doesn't come out of a single hole in the breast. It's more like a showerhead effect. Makes sense, but I think it's weird.
2. ER doctors are fucking stupid. After waiting 7 hours for what my OB thought was my gall bladder freaking out, the doctor basically was like, "So... I'd run this test, but you're pregnant... I'd say it's this, but you're pregnant AND young... I'd prescribe you this, but you're pregnant... so, um... try urgent care?" WTF?
3. Jessica Furgerson is on crack. Run the drug test. You'll see.
4. I technically COULD drink, if I wanted to. I won't, though, so don't worry. Not worth the risk. Chances of the child being crazy are already high enough.
5. My child is a genius. Sitting in IE rounds at nationals, she would begin to kick furiously in rage at unwarranted arguments, even if they are mine. I think we can all agree that those are bad. Good job, Ava!
6. Oh, I guess I should mention that we decided on the name Ava.
7. I guess I should also mention we found out that the fetus is a girl!
8. The boy believes our baby is fat. I tried to tell him that Nelson girls are just show offs, and we all pushed out our bellies in the womb only to be born string beans. He said, no, she's just obese. He also said he would buy her plastic surgery if she's ugly. I endorse neither stance.
9. Being sick sucks. I am sick all the time and have no opportunity to recover.
10. Update: my appetite is insane. Taco Bell is as delectable as a five star bistro and I ate an entire box of frosted flakes in two days by myself (on top of the other meals I've had). Also- you should be careful around me when I'm hungry, because if you look tasty, I might just bite you.
11. BABY'S REQUIRE A RIDICULOUS AMOUNT OF CRAP. I finally registered on Target.com, and it took forever. It's all so cute though! The boy, however, has vetoed exorbitant amounts of pink, so there's lots of neutral selections.
12. Flying sucks. Enough said.
13. Breast milk reportedly increases IQ. Also, breastfeeding is going to hurt more than anything. Woo hoo!
14. Baby girls produce millions and millions of eggs in utero, but only a portion of them survive when they are born.
15. Not only does the mother feel the baby kick- you can SEE it. It was quite possibly the scariest thing I've ever seen. Made me think of Alien when the monster tore out of the person. Maybe I'm confusing movies. It was also very cool though- the first visible sign of life. (Aside from the burgeoning stomach.)
16. Yellow, a very common choice if you're looking for something neutral, actually makes colicky babies more anxious and nauseous. Who knew?
17. By three months old, a baby can understand the normal tones associated with female and male voices. They will become confused or even frightened if the tone does not match the perceived gender.
18.... Ok, pregnancy stupids means that I'm out of things to say, but I promise I won't wait this long to post again. Much love, and pictures soon to come :)
No comments:
Post a Comment