Man oh man. I'm exhausted. Not like, I'm about to fall asleep exhausted, but mentally drained. I sometimes feel like this 21 year old juggling act is finally taking a toll on my stamina. I'm currently researching graduate programs, attempting to pay down some debt, trying to keep the house clean, keeping up with baby, preparing for the big districts tournament and hoping I don't lose my mind.
Anyone who knows me knows that I'm big on plans. Unfortunately, I feel as though someone has stolen my pen and notepad and tied my hands behind my back. There are too many variables in this equation for me to start planning anything, and it is more depressing than you know. Sometimes I wonder if it would just be easier to put the whole grad school thing on hold and open up a daycare center from my home. I mean, that way Adam could work where ever, and we wouldn't have to find someone to stay with Ava... Agh.
Honestly, I think it's just a control thing with me. I haven't felt very in control for a while now, and anything that would offer me that comfort is appealing right now. Alright, well before I sell my soul for a song, I'm off to bed. Hopefully Ava will cooperate.
Monday, January 19, 2009
Friday, January 9, 2009
Ready... Set... Go!
AVA IS CRAWLING!!! I know, I know, no clever lead in or anything, but sometimes the news is so big that pleasantries seem trite. SHE'S CRAWLING!!! Now, granted, this is my child after all, which means she's doing it in her own style. Leave it to someone from my gene pool to go against the grain...
So we're getting ready for bed, and I admit, I still keep her in the bed with me. (Before the lectures begin, don't worry, we have trained ourselves to not roll anymore, so that's not a problem. And really, if you talk to most of the mothers in your life, they'll tell you they often did the same thing. It's just easier to pop a pacifier into the mouth of the screaming baby next to you than the screaming baby in the other room.) In any case, we're trying to get to sleep, but Adam gets kind of baby starved being at work all day so he's kind of messing with her and soon she's gone to the crazy baby land of no return, laughing and kicking around. Well, we turn off all lights, hoping she'll settle down, but of course she doesn't, and I can feel her wiggling next to me. I feel her roll over (which she's been doing sporadically anyways) and I wait to hear her cry out in frustration.
I wait.
And I wait.
Nothing. Except a lot a movement. So I grab my cellphone from the side of the bed to illuminate the crazed child and... what the heck?!
She is pushing herself up on her knees, and then grounding her face into the bed, propelling herself backwards. At first, I thought that she had just done it that once, but as I watch, she is slowly... awkwardly... squirmily?... inching her way down the bed. I gasped audibly and hit Adam. He rolled over in agitation, shooting me a look of death before staring quizzically at his newly mobile daughter. For about 20 minutes, we sat there moving her to the top of the bed, watching her wiggling sojourn and laughing hysterically. We figured she was probably tired, even if thrilled with herself, after her little workout, so we turned off the lights again and prepared for sleep.
How wrong we were.
Ava, it seems, is built for Marathon movement. She kept wiggling, forcing us to grab her again or face the thud and scream of her falling off the end of the mattress. After quite a while on this merry-go-round, we tried putting her between us and locking legs, providing a wall between her and the drop-off. This made her none-too-pleased. We finally, begrudgingly, put her to rest in her crib. Five minutes of blood curdling screams, and we all drifted into the land of nod.
Since then, she has retired from marathons, though she still wiggles her way towards certain goals (usually the edge of the couch, unfortunately). She is truly the smiley-est baby I've ever encountered. I am so blessed!
So we're getting ready for bed, and I admit, I still keep her in the bed with me. (Before the lectures begin, don't worry, we have trained ourselves to not roll anymore, so that's not a problem. And really, if you talk to most of the mothers in your life, they'll tell you they often did the same thing. It's just easier to pop a pacifier into the mouth of the screaming baby next to you than the screaming baby in the other room.) In any case, we're trying to get to sleep, but Adam gets kind of baby starved being at work all day so he's kind of messing with her and soon she's gone to the crazy baby land of no return, laughing and kicking around. Well, we turn off all lights, hoping she'll settle down, but of course she doesn't, and I can feel her wiggling next to me. I feel her roll over (which she's been doing sporadically anyways) and I wait to hear her cry out in frustration.
I wait.
And I wait.
Nothing. Except a lot a movement. So I grab my cellphone from the side of the bed to illuminate the crazed child and... what the heck?!
She is pushing herself up on her knees, and then grounding her face into the bed, propelling herself backwards. At first, I thought that she had just done it that once, but as I watch, she is slowly... awkwardly... squirmily?... inching her way down the bed. I gasped audibly and hit Adam. He rolled over in agitation, shooting me a look of death before staring quizzically at his newly mobile daughter. For about 20 minutes, we sat there moving her to the top of the bed, watching her wiggling sojourn and laughing hysterically. We figured she was probably tired, even if thrilled with herself, after her little workout, so we turned off the lights again and prepared for sleep.
How wrong we were.
Ava, it seems, is built for Marathon movement. She kept wiggling, forcing us to grab her again or face the thud and scream of her falling off the end of the mattress. After quite a while on this merry-go-round, we tried putting her between us and locking legs, providing a wall between her and the drop-off. This made her none-too-pleased. We finally, begrudgingly, put her to rest in her crib. Five minutes of blood curdling screams, and we all drifted into the land of nod.
Since then, she has retired from marathons, though she still wiggles her way towards certain goals (usually the edge of the couch, unfortunately). She is truly the smiley-est baby I've ever encountered. I am so blessed!
Friday, January 2, 2009
Mmmmm.... it's that time of year, isn't it? You know, the time of year when we all make plans and promises we may have the best intentions with but in the end will never follow through on? Sigh. The beginning of a new year. Of course, I'm still in reflective mode, thinking back on the chaos that was 2008. Pregnancy, childbirth, motherhood... for starters. My senior year of college, Adam getting promoted, a new kitty, a new home, a new spark for speech, the decision to try to go to graduate school, my Grandma passing, giving up parli debate, and so much more. It was a wild ride.
2009, on the other hand, promises to be even more tumultous. We've got graduation, graduate school, a real job, moving to a completely new town, Ava turning one, hopefully a wedding, a trip to Cabo with the family in June (if the stars align properly), potentially getting a dog... I mean, it's a lot of dependent variables, and my math skills suck, but it should be fun nonetheless.
So what are my New Years Resolutions? Well, to look fabulous at a wedding in July, for starters. To set a good example for my daughter. To graduate on time. To pay down some debt. To set up a new home. To keep in touch with my family more frequently (and not just immediate members, either). To be more honest with myself and others.
Cheesy? Um, yeah. Blame it on the time of year, I suppose...
2009, on the other hand, promises to be even more tumultous. We've got graduation, graduate school, a real job, moving to a completely new town, Ava turning one, hopefully a wedding, a trip to Cabo with the family in June (if the stars align properly), potentially getting a dog... I mean, it's a lot of dependent variables, and my math skills suck, but it should be fun nonetheless.
So what are my New Years Resolutions? Well, to look fabulous at a wedding in July, for starters. To set a good example for my daughter. To graduate on time. To pay down some debt. To set up a new home. To keep in touch with my family more frequently (and not just immediate members, either). To be more honest with myself and others.
Cheesy? Um, yeah. Blame it on the time of year, I suppose...
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