Man oh man. I'm exhausted. Not like, I'm about to fall asleep exhausted, but mentally drained. I sometimes feel like this 21 year old juggling act is finally taking a toll on my stamina. I'm currently researching graduate programs, attempting to pay down some debt, trying to keep the house clean, keeping up with baby, preparing for the big districts tournament and hoping I don't lose my mind.
Anyone who knows me knows that I'm big on plans. Unfortunately, I feel as though someone has stolen my pen and notepad and tied my hands behind my back. There are too many variables in this equation for me to start planning anything, and it is more depressing than you know. Sometimes I wonder if it would just be easier to put the whole grad school thing on hold and open up a daycare center from my home. I mean, that way Adam could work where ever, and we wouldn't have to find someone to stay with Ava... Agh.
Honestly, I think it's just a control thing with me. I haven't felt very in control for a while now, and anything that would offer me that comfort is appealing right now. Alright, well before I sell my soul for a song, I'm off to bed. Hopefully Ava will cooperate.
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