Update

Wow. I feel as though someone is pressing the fast forward button on my life. Not the, "fast-forward-so-fast-I-don't-know-what-happened" but like the "2x-fast-forward-so-I-barely-keep-up." Now, usually, I would reference how stressed I am over it, and to be fair, there is stress, but by and large, I'm happy. Part of that may have to do with decisions being made, but I'm getting ahead of myself.

First, I'm finally kicking my own butt. I haven't missed a day of exercise in the past seven, and I couldn't be more proud of myself. Sure, my measly handful of pounds seems like small potatoes when I tune into Biggest Loser every week, but then I remember that I have a kid I'm taking care, class to go to, work to do, a house to keep, and the need to sleep sometime during the day. I don't have a 24 hour gym, trainer, and specially cooked meals at my disposal. So, given 5 lb weights, a basic exercise routine in my living room, free online cardio tapes, generic slimfast and Smart One meals... I think I'm doing just fine :) Not that I'm totally satisfied yet. I have a long way to go, but I feel like I can do it. I'm the little engine that could...

On top of that, I'm taking better care of myself overall. I think part of my low morale is that I didn't feel like myself. So, I took charge. It started with Adam encouraging me to go get a pedicure on Valentines day. I think he may have gotten more than he bargained for. I got a pedicure, my hair cut, all over blonde highlights, and used some sunless tanner when I got home. Now, granted, I probably should have paused to remember the proper technique for applying said sunless tanner, but blotches aside, I feel a lot more like my old self. When I told my mom this, she asked, "What's wrong with the new you?" It took me a second to verbalize it, but I realized: it was confidence. I wasn't confident in my outward appearance, and it was killing my self-esteem, slowing me down. Like I said, I'm not quite where I want to be, but I'll be damned if I don't get there. I won't completely abandon my faithful sweatpants and sloppy buns, but you will all be seeing a more polished version 80% of the time (ok, maybe 75).

Plus, I feel like things are getting sorted out. Though nothing has been absolutely set in stone yet, plans have been sketched, the paper thrown away, and the chisel is poised and ready for action. It looks as though we may be moving to Chicago. Don't get me wrong, I really, really want to go to grad school, and WILL get my Ph.D. one day (hopefully before 30), but any stipend isn't really going to be enough right now.

In addition, being closer to my family means we don't have to worry about daycare. I am blessed to have the majority of my immediate family within a 20 mile radius, and a fair amount of them with flexible schedules. While part of me wishes we could get Adam back to Houston, because I know how much he misses his family, I just am not comfortable with putting Ava in daycare when she's so young (too many horror stories). This may not be permanent, but it will be a good starting place for us.

Jobs have not been settled yet, since the tenative decision has been recently made. However, it's likely that Adam will try to stay with his current job. He's going to try to enter a management training program in early spring here, and then transfer into a Chicago location. I have a few options I'm considering, but nothing concrete. We'll likely move in with my parents in the very beginning, just until we save up enough for the security deposit on a place of our own (even the suburbs are expensive!).

I realized today that there are SEVEN WEEKS UNTIL AFA!!! Phew, that was a kick in the pants. The minute the revelation hit, energy began coursing through my body. I am READY for this. I don't even know what, if anything, I'm taking yet, but the team component has my adrenaline going. I have never been part of such an amazing group of people, and I am so proud and humbled to be a part of this team. This is my last of eight years of competition, and I want to go out with a bang. Ready or not, here I come...

Finally, I'm about to graduate. I had kind of taken this fact for granted coming in to college, and truthfully, even up until recently. But the kind words of a few in the past couple of days have made me reflect on how crazy it is that I'm graduating on time with a six month old.

Speaking of Ava, WOW. She's HUGE! I mean, in Ava terms. She's 16 lbs, 26 inches. Compared to some other chillens I know, that's tiny, but compared to the tiny little fairy we brought home from the hospital, she's a giant. Her smile is contaigous, her laughter, infectious, and her sense of wonder, inspiring. I am beginning to realize that my daughter will be the greatest teacher of my life.

Ok, so that's the update. Part of my hope for the next few months is to update this blog regularly. I know I've promised it in past, so I won't promise again, but perchance we can get some pictures of Miss Ava Veronica on here sometimes soon.

Much love to all!