Happy Birthday to me...

Well, I am officially 21. I'm pretty sure this is the last "big" age benchmark that people actually enjoy and look forward to, which brings about a sense of sadness and relief. In some ways, it really does mean adulthood is here. I know, you'd think a baby on the way would have already heralded such an arrival, but if you think about it, most of the time, 21 year olds aren't necessarily adults. It's the "party age." I'm supposed to go out, get trashed and make a whole mess of mistakes. Not quite the case now. Not only would I arrest myself for child endangerment for getting trashed at this point (I was 32 weeks yesterday!), even after the baby comes, responsibility takes on a whole new meaning.
Don't get me wrong; I've never really been the party type. While the law may dictate 21 as the beginning of experiments with alcohol, reality says otherwise. I just don't like the taste of most alcohol, and those of you who know me know that I am a control freak, so that lack of control that accompanies drunkenness is far from appealing. So no, I'm not lamenting my loss of legal partying memories. It just makes a person think about decisions made.
I'm not trying to say I haven't already made my own slew of dastardly mistakes. I can list several by name ;-) but I won't. Still, instead of spending college as a college student, I opted for a more steady route. I haven't changed majors, really. I never pledged greek. The only organization I've been involved with is WKU Forensics, and while speech may be a lot of partying for other teams (or, in some instances, people on my own team), I've played it safe and by the rules. I've been with the same man for almost three years now, and that's unlikely to change, like... ever. Despite brawls with the family, I've remained very close to them. So basically, the majority of the stereotypes assumed when considering the "college experience," I left by the wayside.
I don't regret it.
Sure, I may not have a whole lot of rowdy stories to tell my daughter when she's older, but I have enough, and I was certainly there to help friends dig themselves out of holes they thought too deep. Plus, I wouldn't change anything for the world. I am in love with the most wonderful man I could have dreamed up, and changing anything I've done along the way might have altered where I am now. Certainly not worth the risk.
So perhaps sadness wasn't the proper adjective. Turning 21 brings a sense of ... melancholy? Nostalgia? Both? Hrm.
As far as relief goes... well, it's done. I've just never been in to throwing caution to the wind in a big way, and now that I've finished the set of teenage angst hurdles, I feel like it's more socially acceptable to be a fuddy duddy. Let's keep it real- they were calling me Mama Nelson long before Ava arrived on the scene, and with good reason. I've always been the Mama Hen among friends, and while before it was just a little weird (the boy thinks my expressions make me sound like I'm eighty, but I think making a mountain out of a molehill is a perfectly hip way to indicate exaggeration), it's now adult. Which I'm supposed to be. So I guess I'm finally acting my age? Or, well, at least close to it.
The next benchmark is graduation from college, and as pumped as I am to receive my degree and make the parents proud, I'll be a parent myself at that point, which kind of makes the piece of paper have less to do with personal accomplishment and more to do with providing for Ava. After that, it's marriage, which is kind of a given at this point. If the boy is reading this: THIS IS NOT AN EXCUSE TO SKIMP ON THE PROPOSAL. STILL HOLDING YOU TO HIGH STANDARDS, HERE. And of course, I'm such a girl when it comes to getting excited about the dress and flowers and music and... well, you get it. Still, because it's only a matter of time, and to be perfectly honest, I have most of what I want planned out already, it doesn't seem as overwhelming. Then comes baby. Oh, wait, I already did that! So I guess the next BIG thing is... turning 30? Haha, go figure.
Well, I may not be going out to get totally wasted tonight, but today will be enjoyable. I'm going to take a nice hot shower, and then the boy and I are going to go on a hike, do some mini golfing, and perhaps catch a movie. Leisurely, and Ava friendly, which is just what the doctor ordered. Cheers!