Phew!

Ok, so my life is FINALLY beginning to calm down, and as the dust settles, a couple things have become clear:

1. Doctors Suck.
2. People are pretty cool.
3. Pregnancy sucks.

Ok, so on the first note. I am ALWAYS sick these days. I would just write it off to "rhinitis of pregnancy" as I previously planned to (by the way... doesn't the word rhinitis give you the image a large rhino horn in the place where my nose should be? Ok, sorry, off topic), the coughing has been really severe and kept me from sleeping. After losing enough sleep as it is to Ava's hiccups, I finally sought medical attention (for the third time) to cure what ails me.

I don't have a family doctor down here yet (though I'll have to get one soon for when Ava arrives), so I've been relying on Urgentcare. Now, back in Wheaton, where I grew up, Urgentcare was a very professional operation where you could expect just as thorough an examination and treatment as you could with your regular doctor. In Bowling Green, unfortunately... well, let's just say it was less than I had hoped for.

First, the doctor tries to prescribe me a Z-pack. I say, "Well, like I told the nurse to put in the chart, I finished a Z-pack about a week or two ago, and the symptoms never went away."

He flips open my chart, makes a face, and says, "Right you are! Ok, let's try Amoxclav."

I purse my lips and furrow my brow. "Well, as my chart should indicate, I'm allergic to penicillin."

Again, he opens up the chart, flips through the pages and raises his eyebrows. "Oh, yes, I see it here. So... no penicillin. Let's try (insert some gobbledy-gook I can't remember)."

I close my eyes and take a deep breath. "You know, sir, that I am 6 1/2 months pregnant, right?"

He opens the chart back up, looks at my stomach, and then back to the chart. "Huh. So you are. Well, can't give you that then- it might kill you or the baby!"

He chuckles, and my stomach lurches. He mutters through his final prescription, I think hoping he won't have to correct himself again, and at this point I am so horrified I just want the interaction to end.

So I go to the pharmacy to get the prescriptions filled. I can't read the doctor's handwriting (have you ever wondered how the pharmacists do it? I mean, do they have to take a class or something?), so I ask the pharmacists if everything is ok, given my allergies and pregnant state. Despite the fact that they've entered that information into my file at the pharmacy three times now, she informs me that it's not there, and she'll have to enter it again. After typing in the info one painful key at a time using her forefingers (really? She was like my age. No excuse for not being able to type if you've been through enough school to be filling my prescriptions), I ask her again. She looks up at the ceiling, as though she expects the answer to be written in the cracked white tile.

"Umm... I don't really know... HEY!! TINA!! CAN YOU TAKE LODRANE IF YOU'RE KNOCKED UP?"

Someone, I'm assuming Tina, hollers from a back corner, "UHHH... I DON'T KNOW. DID HER DOCTOR SAY IT WAS OK?"

The twittering idiot in front of me responds, "WELL, I MEAN, HE DID WRITE THE PRESCRIPTION!" She rolls her eyes and turns back to me. "You should be fine."

I sure felt reassured.

Well, I called my mom, who said she didn't know for sure on anything, and to call my OB/GYN. Makes sense, except I'm avoiding them altogether until I figure out what the hell is happening with my insurance (another post, another day). So, I cave and call, but no one is around. In the meantime, I still feel like CRAP.

Then, thank God, my #2 Observation from above comes to fruition- a girl in one my classes is actually an OB/GYN nurse who's come back to school to get another degree. I awkwardly asked her opinion of the medicines, and her face turned dark.

"Well," she said. "The first thing they gave you is Hydrocodone. This is a fairly strong narcotic. Now if you were taking it to just calm down some severe pain once in awhile, it would be fine, but it says here he wants you taking it on a regular basis. Do that, and the baby will be born addicted and go through withdrawl."

Great.

"This second one," she continued. "This one is a Class C pregnancy drug, as classified by the FDA. What that means is that there 'have not been adequate studies done on the effects the drug may have on a pregnant woman or her fetus.' That doesn't necessarily mean it's bad. Problem is, with this one in particular, studies conducted on mammals who almost always react in the same vein as humans found that the drug produces birth defects."

Fabulous.

"The last one," she went on. "Is also a Class C drug. Studies haven't proved anything yet on this one, though."

Wow, exciting.

It thanked her profusely and decided I wasn't touching anything, except maybe the hydrocodone if things got bad.

Moral of the story? ALWAYS double check your doctor. They are not perfect, and some of them are damn stupid. This doesn't mean you should read so much about your health that you become a hypochondriac, but especially if you're at risk due to certain conditions (pregnancy, high blood pressure, etc.), a follow up or second opinion can't hurt.

Second lesson is that people can be pretty cool. That nurse potentially helped me keep my baby out of harm's way. Renewed my faith in mankind, if only momentarily.

Finally, pregnancy sucks. I mean, yeah, it's kind of cool feeling Ava kick around when she doesn't like the position I'm sitting in, or feeling her settle down when the boy reads to her at night, and I'm beyond excited for her to be here, BUT

I just want her out already!

Ok, so maybe she should wait a few more weeks, but I wish the time would go by faster :)

Ramblings of the Delinquent Blogger

So, things I've learned about babies in my last month...

1. Milk doesn't come out of a single hole in the breast. It's more like a showerhead effect. Makes sense, but I think it's weird.

2. ER doctors are fucking stupid. After waiting 7 hours for what my OB thought was my gall bladder freaking out, the doctor basically was like, "So... I'd run this test, but you're pregnant... I'd say it's this, but you're pregnant AND young... I'd prescribe you this, but you're pregnant... so, um... try urgent care?" WTF?

3. Jessica Furgerson is on crack. Run the drug test. You'll see.

4. I technically COULD drink, if I wanted to. I won't, though, so don't worry. Not worth the risk. Chances of the child being crazy are already high enough.

5. My child is a genius. Sitting in IE rounds at nationals, she would begin to kick furiously in rage at unwarranted arguments, even if they are mine. I think we can all agree that those are bad. Good job, Ava!

6. Oh, I guess I should mention that we decided on the name Ava.

7. I guess I should also mention we found out that the fetus is a girl!

8. The boy believes our baby is fat. I tried to tell him that Nelson girls are just show offs, and we all pushed out our bellies in the womb only to be born string beans. He said, no, she's just obese. He also said he would buy her plastic surgery if she's ugly. I endorse neither stance.

9. Being sick sucks. I am sick all the time and have no opportunity to recover.

10. Update: my appetite is insane. Taco Bell is as delectable as a five star bistro and I ate an entire box of frosted flakes in two days by myself (on top of the other meals I've had). Also- you should be careful around me when I'm hungry, because if you look tasty, I might just bite you.

11. BABY'S REQUIRE A RIDICULOUS AMOUNT OF CRAP. I finally registered on Target.com, and it took forever. It's all so cute though! The boy, however, has vetoed exorbitant amounts of pink, so there's lots of neutral selections.

12. Flying sucks. Enough said.

13. Breast milk reportedly increases IQ. Also, breastfeeding is going to hurt more than anything. Woo hoo!

14. Baby girls produce millions and millions of eggs in utero, but only a portion of them survive when they are born.

15. Not only does the mother feel the baby kick- you can SEE it. It was quite possibly the scariest thing I've ever seen. Made me think of Alien when the monster tore out of the person. Maybe I'm confusing movies. It was also very cool though- the first visible sign of life. (Aside from the burgeoning stomach.)

16. Yellow, a very common choice if you're looking for something neutral, actually makes colicky babies more anxious and nauseous. Who knew?

17. By three months old, a baby can understand the normal tones associated with female and male voices. They will become confused or even frightened if the tone does not match the perceived gender.

18.... Ok, pregnancy stupids means that I'm out of things to say, but I promise I won't wait this long to post again. Much love, and pictures soon to come :)

Midol can't harness this rage

Oh, my poor, poor guy. He thought he was complimenting me when he said, "Really- I can't even tell you're pregnant. You don't look like you've gained any weight."

My lip began to quiver. A shaky wail escaped. "You mean I always look this fat?!?"

The road to hell is paved with good intentions...

So, hormones. What lovely little creatures they are. I mean, the only way to describe it is that feeling you get when you're watching the main character in a movie make one of those mistakes that you know could be avoided if everyone would just be open about what they're thinking or feeling (though of course no one ever is) and you know what's happening and how things are about to get hectic and all you want to do is shake them and say, NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! Except, the problem is that instead of it being a movie, you're watching yourself say the most neurotic things ever in a pitch that resembles the hysteria of a schizophrenic being put under arrest and could be used as damning evidence against you if someone wanted to challenge your competency to make legal decisions about your future. It's PMS 24/7 for nine months. Yayyy...

As BabyCenter.com explains, the surge of hormones your body is experiencing during pregnancy throws the levels of neurotransmitters in your body out of wack, which leaves you susceptible to massive mood swings. Magnifying these mood swings are high levels of anxiety about finances, your ability to be a good parent, and how large you've become.

There are a few strategies you can use to personally regulate your mood swings. The most important thing is to take a step back, breathe and think about what you're getting ready to say. It's pretty good advice on an average day to not speak in anger, but during pregnancy, this advice functions as law. You can take it back and blame it on the baby, but that excuse will get old real fast. Plus, if you can keep breathing on a regular basis, you might be able to avoid some of those massive blow-ups.

Eating right can help control the beast as well. As tempting as it may be to eat an entire box of shortbread cookies in one sitting (I know, I've done it), it doesn't help to stabilize your sugar levels, which can lead to lots and lots of mood swings. Eating foods that are especially rich in B6, such as bananas, peanuts, brown rice, eggs, avocado and whole grains, can help to keep your moods on an even keel, and aid in the development of neurotransmitters for your little one!

Another little piece of advice I would hand out is to be very careful of how you treat your significant other. The boy has begun to recognize when the Dr. Jekyll/Mr.Hyde transformation is about to occur in me, and will head for the hills at the first sign of twitching. He's been the target of one too many outbursts- none of which had any real basis to them- and I may have scarred him for life. Now, he and I had already honed our fighting skills into an art form, so it hasn't caused us to sleep in separate rooms, but in any other couple, I guarantee there'd have been some problems.

Remember, he's just as scared and confused as you are, and an outburst doesn't help to remedy that or the perceived offensive behavior of the moment. Men will wait on you hand and foot during this time period, but be careful not to turn into one of those Evil Stepmother Queens whose mandates are keeping Cinderfella from his Xbox Ball. I'm sure he's willing to go to far fewer of those galas than he used to, but he needs an outlet as well. Don't you forget.

After I had my pity party and my guy recovered from a state of utter bewilderedness, I muttered something about hormones, which made him laugh. He rolled his eyes, looked directly in mine and said, "Really? You think that was bad? Maybe this will be easier than I'd thought."

Only time will tell.

The Pregnancy Stupids

Ok, so I know it's been awhile, which I'm going to partially attribute to the title/content of this post. My oh my. I don't consider myself a prodigy in any way, shape, or form (though my child will put Baby Genius to shame), but pregnancy has rendered me stupid as hell.

I find myself forgetting things constantly. I will start a conversation with the boy, or anyone else for that matter, and suddenly entirely forget what I had begun to say. In fact, I just forgot what I was going to write. In any case, I'd consider myself an at least mildly articulate individual (unless I'm debating in front of Nick Dudley, who's never seen me debate without double turning myself), and these days I can barely string together a sentence- which could prove to be an issue in limited prep at nationals, or at NPDA.

I won't pretend that I've always believed in "baby brain," as it's fondly referred to. In fact, the first time I heard it suggested, I balked at the idea. It seemed like another attempt to otherize pregnant women into this whole other species where they rank lower than all other individuals. When I started to experience the severe memory lapses, I thought I'd gone crazy. Thankfully, the Aussies have made me feel better.

The New Zealand Herald reports on February 6th, 2008 that "baby brain" is for real. Research headed by psychologist Julie Henry at the University of New South Wales in Sydney shows that, "Pregnant women are significantly impaired on some, but not all, measures of memory. The memory deficits are smaller than the deficits found when comparing healthy 20-year-olds and 80-year-olds, but are probably close to the modest deficits found when comparing healthy 20-year-olds with healthy 60-year-olds."

Well, that explains it.

The research, which was published in The Journal of Clinical and Experimental Neuropsychology, showed that it is a specific type of memory that is impacted. So while I might be able to remember my address, I may not be able to remember your name, two minutes after you've told me. It is predicted that this effect can last even a few months after childbirth.

They've been unable to pin down the cause of the symptoms. The researchers speculate that it may have to do with the tremendous emotional and physical changes that are taking place, and that sleep deprivation may also contribute (probably does, in my case). That doesn't mean that these findings are fool proof. Dr. Ros Crawley of Sutherland University concluded in his 2003 research that the syndrome is merely a product of social expectations.

Well, even though recency may be the bane of my existence when I'm doing research for a public address, I'm going to have to appeal to it here. Dr. Crawley may be right; the syndrome may be a result of socialization. However, that doesn't make its existence any less real for those experiencing it. It's also entirely possible that the social expectations, when combined with the stresses of one's lifestyle, could amplify what would otherwise just seem like everyday forgetfulness.

Regardless, I can't help but feel as though my intelligence fades with each passing day. I'd like to think that it's maybe just being absorbed by the little one within. I've already got proud mama syndrome; I'm glowing just thinking about what a shining star the baby will be. I'll risk sounding stupid for the chance to bear witness to that.

Oooo girl, you better shut up and sit down!

So, perhaps it's the hormones, or the research, or maybe I've just always been crazy, but I came close to lurching over several tables in class this morning to rip the larynx out of a sorority girl in my class. Let me set the scene.

A tall, skinny blonde (and yes, every female fitting this description becomes an immediate target for criticism as your body balloons, but this is beyond that), who we shall refer to as Natalia, flounces into the room with her obnoxiously colored bags and scarves and coat and pounces into her seat next to a similarly adorned sorority sister (We'll call her Mary) like a tiger who jumps gleefully on already wounded prey.

N: Omigod, omigod, omigod... guess what?!?!

M: Um-

N: No, don't guess. Ok, so, you know Anna from Phi Mu?

M: Um-

N: The homely chick who was with whats-his-face for forever and a day and is now with that one Kappa Sig, Jeremy?

M: Yeah, ok, I-

N: Anyways, so like, I know they moved in together real quick, and even so, it's only been like four months that they've been living together, but guess what?

M: Um-

N: I'll just tell you- She's PREGNANT! Omigod, omigod, can you believe it?! Like six months, too! How SCANDALOUS! I bet you she hasn't even told her parents. I can't believe it.

M: Wow, I-

N: I know, right? I'm totally going to call her out after this class. We always meet up in this group, and like, I'm going to be like, whoa, by the way, CONGRATULATIONS, MOM! She's going to totally, like, flip!

Enter me. Rageful. Seething. Wanting to pull her overly bleached extensions out of her self-righteous head. I mean- REALLY? Oh sweetheart, it's people like you that make unexpected pregnancies so difficult, and my speech so important. I think it's a bunch of crap.

Think about it. Pregnancy is not easy, but who says that for this girl, it's scandalous? She could be excited and anxious, and people like this Natalia chick make it difficult to stay positive, because her approach entrenches the assumption that pregnancy, unexpected and out of wedlock, CANNOT possibly be a good thing. Support is what is called for- not judgment.

Moreover, calling her out?!?! I'm sorry, but this is NOT your news to tell. Moreover, given Natalia's already established negative outlook on the situation, she's only going to make judgment more pervasive for this struggling young woman.

I am a firm believer in controlling perception. That's part of why I'm giving this speech, and it's part of why this blog exists. I want people to realize that whether or not it's on the timetable that a woman had in mind, and whether it's in or out of wedlock, decisions regarding pregnancy are tremendously personal, and require a lot soul searching. What I want people to realize is that, at the end of such a search, it is possible that some individuals view the pregnancy as a blessing. It is not up to an outsider to make that determination for them.

This is my request of you. I am asking- no, begging- that if one of your friends, family members, or loved ones announces that they are pregnant, you allow them to tell you how they feel about it. This is an immensely sensitive time, and they need your support- not your opinion. Share love, not prescriptions for a life that isn't yours.

Rant? Perhaps. But someone needs to say it.

Kid, if you don't stop kicking me, I swear to God...

Ouch. I'm knocked flat on my back right now- my back being the primary issue at hand. It feels as though my little bundle of joy is stretching out and pushing their legs directly into my lower back. The pressure is tremendous, and it doesn't matter where or how I sit or lay- there is no reprieve. My mom chuckles when I tell her these things; apparently it's just "how it goes." Well, I'm not going to take it down! Well, I mean, if you're taking it literally I am, but still...
The October 2007 edition of Orthopedics points out that, "An enduring debate in pregnancy care is whether low back pain is an inevitable or perhaps even essential component of a healthy pregnancy. Some have suggested that low back pain may perform a functional role as a protective agent by focusing women’s attention on the physical stresses their bodies are undergoing, thereby making them more cautious during pregnancy." Great, so people think it's necessary. Why do people keep telling me that pain is good?!
BabyCenter.com explains it a little more literally, saying, "Your expanding uterus shifts your center of gravity and stretches out and weakens your abdominal muscles, changing your posture and putting a strain on your back. The extra weight you're carrying means more work for your muscles and increased stress on your joints, which is why your back may feel worse at the end of the day. Your growing uterus may also cause back pain if it's pressing on a nerve. In addition, hormonal changes in pregnancy loosen your joints and the ligaments that attach your pelvic bones to your spine. This can make you feel less stable and cause pain when you walk, stand, sit for long periods, roll over in bed, get out of a low chair or the tub, bend, or lift things." So in other words, my body hates me. Oh, and sitting down? What I do most of the day? Causes the pain as well. WTF?!
Blech. Fortunately, BabyCenter provides a couple of solutions. Unfortunately, some of these I'm already doing, such as sleeping on my side, making sure I vary sitting down, laying down, and walking around, etc. One thing I am going to try, though, is using a heat pad. It's helped in the past, and I'm hoping old trusty won't fail me. They also recommend a prenatal massage- but do they think I'm made of money or something?! No, the heat pad will have to do.
In closing, I guess it is pretty amusing to watch us preggo ladies waddling around with our hands gripping our lower back, but keep in mind- that grimace is real!!

Sickly or Sick?

If there is one very counter-intuitive but natural aspect of pregnancy it is constantly feeling like I'm sick. Be it nausea (because there is no morning in morning sickness) or a perpetual head cold, I feel lousy most of the time. At first, I thought it was something wrong with me, but then I did some reading (can you tell I wind up doing this a lot?).
The first component is the massive amount of energy and resources that the growing baby takes from your body. This depletes your immune system and can leave you vulnerable. But even if your immune system is in tip top condition, you could still feel sickly. BabyCenter.com reports 20 to 30 percent of pregnant women have congestion without having allergies or a viral infection like the common cold. This condition is called rhinitis of pregnancy. It can start as early as your second month (which is about when it started for me, too).
That doesn't mean I've been without illness though. My team was recently subjected to the debate plague. Some had more severe cases than others, but I figured I'd go to WKU Health Services to be sure. Problem is, the doctors at WKU Health Services are mildly retarded. First they didn't believe I was pregnant. Then they didn't believe I was sick. Then they tried to argue with me about the circumstances surrounding the pregnancy. Then I heard the doctor asking a nurse what she though a pregnant woman should be prescribed, because she couldn't remember what was or was not ok.
Obviously, I didn't fill the prescription. The funniest part of it was my last OB visit. It was several weeks after my mishap at WKU Health Services. Turns out that my blood work from the OB visit before that, which was a week or so before WKU Health Services, indicated I had a strep infection. Meaning that I'd had strep for a month, and the imbeciles at WKU Health Services had messed it up. GAHHHH!
Moral of the story- always, always, always be safe rather than sorry. Err on the side of caution. If you're feeling under the weather, it could be rhinitis, but if it's not, it could have some serious implications for you and the baby. If you don't trust your initial doctor's opinion, get a second one. There is simply no reason to take a risk you don't need.