Oh, my poor, poor guy. He thought he was complimenting me when he said, "Really- I can't even tell you're pregnant. You don't look like you've gained any weight."
My lip began to quiver. A shaky wail escaped. "You mean I always look this fat?!?"
The road to hell is paved with good intentions...
So, hormones. What lovely little creatures they are. I mean, the only way to describe it is that feeling you get when you're watching the main character in a movie make one of those mistakes that you know could be avoided if everyone would just be open about what they're thinking or feeling (though of course no one ever is) and you know what's happening and how things are about to get hectic and all you want to do is shake them and say, NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! Except, the problem is that instead of it being a movie, you're watching yourself say the most neurotic things ever in a pitch that resembles the hysteria of a schizophrenic being put under arrest and could be used as damning evidence against you if someone wanted to challenge your competency to make legal decisions about your future. It's PMS 24/7 for nine months. Yayyy...
As BabyCenter.com explains, the surge of hormones your body is experiencing during pregnancy throws the levels of neurotransmitters in your body out of wack, which leaves you susceptible to massive mood swings. Magnifying these mood swings are high levels of anxiety about finances, your ability to be a good parent, and how large you've become.
There are a few strategies you can use to personally regulate your mood swings. The most important thing is to take a step back, breathe and think about what you're getting ready to say. It's pretty good advice on an average day to not speak in anger, but during pregnancy, this advice functions as law. You can take it back and blame it on the baby, but that excuse will get old real fast. Plus, if you can keep breathing on a regular basis, you might be able to avoid some of those massive blow-ups.
Eating right can help control the beast as well. As tempting as it may be to eat an entire box of shortbread cookies in one sitting (I know, I've done it), it doesn't help to stabilize your sugar levels, which can lead to lots and lots of mood swings. Eating foods that are especially rich in B6, such as bananas, peanuts, brown rice, eggs, avocado and whole grains, can help to keep your moods on an even keel, and aid in the development of neurotransmitters for your little one!
Another little piece of advice I would hand out is to be very careful of how you treat your significant other. The boy has begun to recognize when the Dr. Jekyll/Mr.Hyde transformation is about to occur in me, and will head for the hills at the first sign of twitching. He's been the target of one too many outbursts- none of which had any real basis to them- and I may have scarred him for life. Now, he and I had already honed our fighting skills into an art form, so it hasn't caused us to sleep in separate rooms, but in any other couple, I guarantee there'd have been some problems.
Remember, he's just as scared and confused as you are, and an outburst doesn't help to remedy that or the perceived offensive behavior of the moment. Men will wait on you hand and foot during this time period, but be careful not to turn into one of those Evil Stepmother Queens whose mandates are keeping Cinderfella from his Xbox Ball. I'm sure he's willing to go to far fewer of those galas than he used to, but he needs an outlet as well. Don't you forget.
After I had my pity party and my guy recovered from a state of utter bewilderedness, I muttered something about hormones, which made him laugh. He rolled his eyes, looked directly in mine and said, "Really? You think that was bad? Maybe this will be easier than I'd thought."
Only time will tell.
Thursday, February 28, 2008
Wednesday, February 27, 2008
The Pregnancy Stupids
Ok, so I know it's been awhile, which I'm going to partially attribute to the title/content of this post. My oh my. I don't consider myself a prodigy in any way, shape, or form (though my child will put Baby Genius to shame), but pregnancy has rendered me stupid as hell.
I find myself forgetting things constantly. I will start a conversation with the boy, or anyone else for that matter, and suddenly entirely forget what I had begun to say. In fact, I just forgot what I was going to write. In any case, I'd consider myself an at least mildly articulate individual (unless I'm debating in front of Nick Dudley, who's never seen me debate without double turning myself), and these days I can barely string together a sentence- which could prove to be an issue in limited prep at nationals, or at NPDA.
I won't pretend that I've always believed in "baby brain," as it's fondly referred to. In fact, the first time I heard it suggested, I balked at the idea. It seemed like another attempt to otherize pregnant women into this whole other species where they rank lower than all other individuals. When I started to experience the severe memory lapses, I thought I'd gone crazy. Thankfully, the Aussies have made me feel better.
The New Zealand Herald reports on February 6th, 2008 that "baby brain" is for real. Research headed by psychologist Julie Henry at the University of New South Wales in Sydney shows that, "Pregnant women are significantly impaired on some, but not all, measures of memory. The memory deficits are smaller than the deficits found when comparing healthy 20-year-olds and 80-year-olds, but are probably close to the modest deficits found when comparing healthy 20-year-olds with healthy 60-year-olds."
Well, that explains it.
The research, which was published in The Journal of Clinical and Experimental Neuropsychology, showed that it is a specific type of memory that is impacted. So while I might be able to remember my address, I may not be able to remember your name, two minutes after you've told me. It is predicted that this effect can last even a few months after childbirth.
They've been unable to pin down the cause of the symptoms. The researchers speculate that it may have to do with the tremendous emotional and physical changes that are taking place, and that sleep deprivation may also contribute (probably does, in my case). That doesn't mean that these findings are fool proof. Dr. Ros Crawley of Sutherland University concluded in his 2003 research that the syndrome is merely a product of social expectations.
Well, even though recency may be the bane of my existence when I'm doing research for a public address, I'm going to have to appeal to it here. Dr. Crawley may be right; the syndrome may be a result of socialization. However, that doesn't make its existence any less real for those experiencing it. It's also entirely possible that the social expectations, when combined with the stresses of one's lifestyle, could amplify what would otherwise just seem like everyday forgetfulness.
Regardless, I can't help but feel as though my intelligence fades with each passing day. I'd like to think that it's maybe just being absorbed by the little one within. I've already got proud mama syndrome; I'm glowing just thinking about what a shining star the baby will be. I'll risk sounding stupid for the chance to bear witness to that.
I find myself forgetting things constantly. I will start a conversation with the boy, or anyone else for that matter, and suddenly entirely forget what I had begun to say. In fact, I just forgot what I was going to write. In any case, I'd consider myself an at least mildly articulate individual (unless I'm debating in front of Nick Dudley, who's never seen me debate without double turning myself), and these days I can barely string together a sentence- which could prove to be an issue in limited prep at nationals, or at NPDA.
I won't pretend that I've always believed in "baby brain," as it's fondly referred to. In fact, the first time I heard it suggested, I balked at the idea. It seemed like another attempt to otherize pregnant women into this whole other species where they rank lower than all other individuals. When I started to experience the severe memory lapses, I thought I'd gone crazy. Thankfully, the Aussies have made me feel better.
The New Zealand Herald reports on February 6th, 2008 that "baby brain" is for real. Research headed by psychologist Julie Henry at the University of New South Wales in Sydney shows that, "Pregnant women are significantly impaired on some, but not all, measures of memory. The memory deficits are smaller than the deficits found when comparing healthy 20-year-olds and 80-year-olds, but are probably close to the modest deficits found when comparing healthy 20-year-olds with healthy 60-year-olds."
Well, that explains it.
The research, which was published in The Journal of Clinical and Experimental Neuropsychology, showed that it is a specific type of memory that is impacted. So while I might be able to remember my address, I may not be able to remember your name, two minutes after you've told me. It is predicted that this effect can last even a few months after childbirth.
They've been unable to pin down the cause of the symptoms. The researchers speculate that it may have to do with the tremendous emotional and physical changes that are taking place, and that sleep deprivation may also contribute (probably does, in my case). That doesn't mean that these findings are fool proof. Dr. Ros Crawley of Sutherland University concluded in his 2003 research that the syndrome is merely a product of social expectations.
Well, even though recency may be the bane of my existence when I'm doing research for a public address, I'm going to have to appeal to it here. Dr. Crawley may be right; the syndrome may be a result of socialization. However, that doesn't make its existence any less real for those experiencing it. It's also entirely possible that the social expectations, when combined with the stresses of one's lifestyle, could amplify what would otherwise just seem like everyday forgetfulness.
Regardless, I can't help but feel as though my intelligence fades with each passing day. I'd like to think that it's maybe just being absorbed by the little one within. I've already got proud mama syndrome; I'm glowing just thinking about what a shining star the baby will be. I'll risk sounding stupid for the chance to bear witness to that.
Wednesday, February 20, 2008
Oooo girl, you better shut up and sit down!
So, perhaps it's the hormones, or the research, or maybe I've just always been crazy, but I came close to lurching over several tables in class this morning to rip the larynx out of a sorority girl in my class. Let me set the scene.
A tall, skinny blonde (and yes, every female fitting this description becomes an immediate target for criticism as your body balloons, but this is beyond that), who we shall refer to as Natalia, flounces into the room with her obnoxiously colored bags and scarves and coat and pounces into her seat next to a similarly adorned sorority sister (We'll call her Mary) like a tiger who jumps gleefully on already wounded prey.
N: Omigod, omigod, omigod... guess what?!?!
M: Um-
N: No, don't guess. Ok, so, you know Anna from Phi Mu?
M: Um-
N: The homely chick who was with whats-his-face for forever and a day and is now with that one Kappa Sig, Jeremy?
M: Yeah, ok, I-
N: Anyways, so like, I know they moved in together real quick, and even so, it's only been like four months that they've been living together, but guess what?
M: Um-
N: I'll just tell you- She's PREGNANT! Omigod, omigod, can you believe it?! Like six months, too! How SCANDALOUS! I bet you she hasn't even told her parents. I can't believe it.
M: Wow, I-
N: I know, right? I'm totally going to call her out after this class. We always meet up in this group, and like, I'm going to be like, whoa, by the way, CONGRATULATIONS, MOM! She's going to totally, like, flip!
Enter me. Rageful. Seething. Wanting to pull her overly bleached extensions out of her self-righteous head. I mean- REALLY? Oh sweetheart, it's people like you that make unexpected pregnancies so difficult, and my speech so important. I think it's a bunch of crap.
Think about it. Pregnancy is not easy, but who says that for this girl, it's scandalous? She could be excited and anxious, and people like this Natalia chick make it difficult to stay positive, because her approach entrenches the assumption that pregnancy, unexpected and out of wedlock, CANNOT possibly be a good thing. Support is what is called for- not judgment.
Moreover, calling her out?!?! I'm sorry, but this is NOT your news to tell. Moreover, given Natalia's already established negative outlook on the situation, she's only going to make judgment more pervasive for this struggling young woman.
I am a firm believer in controlling perception. That's part of why I'm giving this speech, and it's part of why this blog exists. I want people to realize that whether or not it's on the timetable that a woman had in mind, and whether it's in or out of wedlock, decisions regarding pregnancy are tremendously personal, and require a lot soul searching. What I want people to realize is that, at the end of such a search, it is possible that some individuals view the pregnancy as a blessing. It is not up to an outsider to make that determination for them.
This is my request of you. I am asking- no, begging- that if one of your friends, family members, or loved ones announces that they are pregnant, you allow them to tell you how they feel about it. This is an immensely sensitive time, and they need your support- not your opinion. Share love, not prescriptions for a life that isn't yours.
Rant? Perhaps. But someone needs to say it.
A tall, skinny blonde (and yes, every female fitting this description becomes an immediate target for criticism as your body balloons, but this is beyond that), who we shall refer to as Natalia, flounces into the room with her obnoxiously colored bags and scarves and coat and pounces into her seat next to a similarly adorned sorority sister (We'll call her Mary) like a tiger who jumps gleefully on already wounded prey.
N: Omigod, omigod, omigod... guess what?!?!
M: Um-
N: No, don't guess. Ok, so, you know Anna from Phi Mu?
M: Um-
N: The homely chick who was with whats-his-face for forever and a day and is now with that one Kappa Sig, Jeremy?
M: Yeah, ok, I-
N: Anyways, so like, I know they moved in together real quick, and even so, it's only been like four months that they've been living together, but guess what?
M: Um-
N: I'll just tell you- She's PREGNANT! Omigod, omigod, can you believe it?! Like six months, too! How SCANDALOUS! I bet you she hasn't even told her parents. I can't believe it.
M: Wow, I-
N: I know, right? I'm totally going to call her out after this class. We always meet up in this group, and like, I'm going to be like, whoa, by the way, CONGRATULATIONS, MOM! She's going to totally, like, flip!
Enter me. Rageful. Seething. Wanting to pull her overly bleached extensions out of her self-righteous head. I mean- REALLY? Oh sweetheart, it's people like you that make unexpected pregnancies so difficult, and my speech so important. I think it's a bunch of crap.
Think about it. Pregnancy is not easy, but who says that for this girl, it's scandalous? She could be excited and anxious, and people like this Natalia chick make it difficult to stay positive, because her approach entrenches the assumption that pregnancy, unexpected and out of wedlock, CANNOT possibly be a good thing. Support is what is called for- not judgment.
Moreover, calling her out?!?! I'm sorry, but this is NOT your news to tell. Moreover, given Natalia's already established negative outlook on the situation, she's only going to make judgment more pervasive for this struggling young woman.
I am a firm believer in controlling perception. That's part of why I'm giving this speech, and it's part of why this blog exists. I want people to realize that whether or not it's on the timetable that a woman had in mind, and whether it's in or out of wedlock, decisions regarding pregnancy are tremendously personal, and require a lot soul searching. What I want people to realize is that, at the end of such a search, it is possible that some individuals view the pregnancy as a blessing. It is not up to an outsider to make that determination for them.
This is my request of you. I am asking- no, begging- that if one of your friends, family members, or loved ones announces that they are pregnant, you allow them to tell you how they feel about it. This is an immensely sensitive time, and they need your support- not your opinion. Share love, not prescriptions for a life that isn't yours.
Rant? Perhaps. But someone needs to say it.
Tuesday, February 19, 2008
Kid, if you don't stop kicking me, I swear to God...
Ouch. I'm knocked flat on my back right now- my back being the primary issue at hand. It feels as though my little bundle of joy is stretching out and pushing their legs directly into my lower back. The pressure is tremendous, and it doesn't matter where or how I sit or lay- there is no reprieve. My mom chuckles when I tell her these things; apparently it's just "how it goes." Well, I'm not going to take it down! Well, I mean, if you're taking it literally I am, but still...
The October 2007 edition of Orthopedics points out that, "An enduring debate in pregnancy care is whether low back pain is an inevitable or perhaps even essential component of a healthy pregnancy. Some have suggested that low back pain may perform a functional role as a protective agent by focusing women’s attention on the physical stresses their bodies are undergoing, thereby making them more cautious during pregnancy." Great, so people think it's necessary. Why do people keep telling me that pain is good?!
BabyCenter.com explains it a little more literally, saying, "Your expanding uterus shifts your center of gravity and stretches out and weakens your abdominal muscles, changing your posture and putting a strain on your back. The extra weight you're carrying means more work for your muscles and increased stress on your joints, which is why your back may feel worse at the end of the day. Your growing uterus may also cause back pain if it's pressing on a nerve. In addition, hormonal changes in pregnancy loosen your joints and the ligaments that attach your pelvic bones to your spine. This can make you feel less stable and cause pain when you walk, stand, sit for long periods, roll over in bed, get out of a low chair or the tub, bend, or lift things." So in other words, my body hates me. Oh, and sitting down? What I do most of the day? Causes the pain as well. WTF?!
Blech. Fortunately, BabyCenter provides a couple of solutions. Unfortunately, some of these I'm already doing, such as sleeping on my side, making sure I vary sitting down, laying down, and walking around, etc. One thing I am going to try, though, is using a heat pad. It's helped in the past, and I'm hoping old trusty won't fail me. They also recommend a prenatal massage- but do they think I'm made of money or something?! No, the heat pad will have to do.
In closing, I guess it is pretty amusing to watch us preggo ladies waddling around with our hands gripping our lower back, but keep in mind- that grimace is real!!
The October 2007 edition of Orthopedics points out that, "An enduring debate in pregnancy care is whether low back pain is an inevitable or perhaps even essential component of a healthy pregnancy. Some have suggested that low back pain may perform a functional role as a protective agent by focusing women’s attention on the physical stresses their bodies are undergoing, thereby making them more cautious during pregnancy." Great, so people think it's necessary. Why do people keep telling me that pain is good?!
BabyCenter.com explains it a little more literally, saying, "Your expanding uterus shifts your center of gravity and stretches out and weakens your abdominal muscles, changing your posture and putting a strain on your back. The extra weight you're carrying means more work for your muscles and increased stress on your joints, which is why your back may feel worse at the end of the day. Your growing uterus may also cause back pain if it's pressing on a nerve. In addition, hormonal changes in pregnancy loosen your joints and the ligaments that attach your pelvic bones to your spine. This can make you feel less stable and cause pain when you walk, stand, sit for long periods, roll over in bed, get out of a low chair or the tub, bend, or lift things." So in other words, my body hates me. Oh, and sitting down? What I do most of the day? Causes the pain as well. WTF?!
Blech. Fortunately, BabyCenter provides a couple of solutions. Unfortunately, some of these I'm already doing, such as sleeping on my side, making sure I vary sitting down, laying down, and walking around, etc. One thing I am going to try, though, is using a heat pad. It's helped in the past, and I'm hoping old trusty won't fail me. They also recommend a prenatal massage- but do they think I'm made of money or something?! No, the heat pad will have to do.
In closing, I guess it is pretty amusing to watch us preggo ladies waddling around with our hands gripping our lower back, but keep in mind- that grimace is real!!
Monday, February 18, 2008
Sickly or Sick?
If there is one very counter-intuitive but natural aspect of pregnancy it is constantly feeling like I'm sick. Be it nausea (because there is no morning in morning sickness) or a perpetual head cold, I feel lousy most of the time. At first, I thought it was something wrong with me, but then I did some reading (can you tell I wind up doing this a lot?).
The first component is the massive amount of energy and resources that the growing baby takes from your body. This depletes your immune system and can leave you vulnerable. But even if your immune system is in tip top condition, you could still feel sickly. BabyCenter.com reports 20 to 30 percent of pregnant women have congestion without having allergies or a viral infection like the common cold. This condition is called rhinitis of pregnancy. It can start as early as your second month (which is about when it started for me, too).
That doesn't mean I've been without illness though. My team was recently subjected to the debate plague. Some had more severe cases than others, but I figured I'd go to WKU Health Services to be sure. Problem is, the doctors at WKU Health Services are mildly retarded. First they didn't believe I was pregnant. Then they didn't believe I was sick. Then they tried to argue with me about the circumstances surrounding the pregnancy. Then I heard the doctor asking a nurse what she though a pregnant woman should be prescribed, because she couldn't remember what was or was not ok.
Obviously, I didn't fill the prescription. The funniest part of it was my last OB visit. It was several weeks after my mishap at WKU Health Services. Turns out that my blood work from the OB visit before that, which was a week or so before WKU Health Services, indicated I had a strep infection. Meaning that I'd had strep for a month, and the imbeciles at WKU Health Services had messed it up. GAHHHH!
Moral of the story- always, always, always be safe rather than sorry. Err on the side of caution. If you're feeling under the weather, it could be rhinitis, but if it's not, it could have some serious implications for you and the baby. If you don't trust your initial doctor's opinion, get a second one. There is simply no reason to take a risk you don't need.
The first component is the massive amount of energy and resources that the growing baby takes from your body. This depletes your immune system and can leave you vulnerable. But even if your immune system is in tip top condition, you could still feel sickly. BabyCenter.com reports 20 to 30 percent of pregnant women have congestion without having allergies or a viral infection like the common cold. This condition is called rhinitis of pregnancy. It can start as early as your second month (which is about when it started for me, too).
That doesn't mean I've been without illness though. My team was recently subjected to the debate plague. Some had more severe cases than others, but I figured I'd go to WKU Health Services to be sure. Problem is, the doctors at WKU Health Services are mildly retarded. First they didn't believe I was pregnant. Then they didn't believe I was sick. Then they tried to argue with me about the circumstances surrounding the pregnancy. Then I heard the doctor asking a nurse what she though a pregnant woman should be prescribed, because she couldn't remember what was or was not ok.
Obviously, I didn't fill the prescription. The funniest part of it was my last OB visit. It was several weeks after my mishap at WKU Health Services. Turns out that my blood work from the OB visit before that, which was a week or so before WKU Health Services, indicated I had a strep infection. Meaning that I'd had strep for a month, and the imbeciles at WKU Health Services had messed it up. GAHHHH!
Moral of the story- always, always, always be safe rather than sorry. Err on the side of caution. If you're feeling under the weather, it could be rhinitis, but if it's not, it could have some serious implications for you and the baby. If you don't trust your initial doctor's opinion, get a second one. There is simply no reason to take a risk you don't need.
Saturday, February 16, 2008
So... did you just fall asleep mid-sentence?
I'm tired. No, really. Exhausted. Totally wiped out. Which doesn't make sense, because I took a nap yesterday, went to bed at 10:45pm, and woke up at 10 am. And still, I am longing for the twisted pregnancy dreams of sleep. In fact, I don't think I've ever been so tired in my life... but I haven't done anything!
Being tired is one of the things people don't really warn you about. Books like The Girlfriend's Guide to Pregnancy by Vicki Iovine and Belly Laughs by Jenny McCarthy, both discuss in detail how you'll be exhausted during the first trimester as the baby messes with your metabolic rate. Jenny relates about falling asleep mid-sentence! It makes sense; that kid is growing so fast in my stomach that if they were outside of the womb, they'd have some kind of growth disorder. That takes a lot of energy. However, these books also referenced a BURST of energy in the second trimester. Well I'm there. Over a month in. And the energy is not. So I started reading some more.
According to the April 2004 edition of The Australian Nursing Journal, women who experience this kind of fatigue later in their pregnancy, such as during the second and third trimesters, are more likely to have a c-section. NOOOOO!!! I tried to write it off to Aussies being jerks (I wouldn't really know, I've never met any), but then ANOTHER journal, The Journal of Advanced Nursing, in March of 2004 said the same thing. Well, CRAP! I certainly hope I wake up sometime soon. I'd far and away prefer to push one out than be cut open.
Some good news- I'm supposed to not do house work. The May 2000 edition of the magazine Parents reports that overworking myself could bring me closer to such a fate, so I'm supposed to take it easy. The boy will be thrilled to hear this!
Still, more reading points out that a lack of iron in the body can also contribute to the tiredness. This is something I can remedy with iron supplements (which, after checking with my doctor, is fine), and eating more meat. I'm not a vegetarian, but meat is not really my thing, so I'll probably rely on things like eggs more than pork chops. Who knows though? Cravings change daily!
Other websites suggest eating a more balanced diet, taking "cat naps" of 30 minutes a couple times a day, and getting exercise- as this can help increase happy hormones in the body :)
I'll certainly try it all out, but all the same, if you're talking to me and I suddenly seem as though I might pass out- find me a soft, soft bed and let me drift into the wacky world of pregnancy dreams. I'll take you there with me one day... but that's a post in and of itself!
Being tired is one of the things people don't really warn you about. Books like The Girlfriend's Guide to Pregnancy by Vicki Iovine and Belly Laughs by Jenny McCarthy, both discuss in detail how you'll be exhausted during the first trimester as the baby messes with your metabolic rate. Jenny relates about falling asleep mid-sentence! It makes sense; that kid is growing so fast in my stomach that if they were outside of the womb, they'd have some kind of growth disorder. That takes a lot of energy. However, these books also referenced a BURST of energy in the second trimester. Well I'm there. Over a month in. And the energy is not. So I started reading some more.
According to the April 2004 edition of The Australian Nursing Journal, women who experience this kind of fatigue later in their pregnancy, such as during the second and third trimesters, are more likely to have a c-section. NOOOOO!!! I tried to write it off to Aussies being jerks (I wouldn't really know, I've never met any), but then ANOTHER journal, The Journal of Advanced Nursing, in March of 2004 said the same thing. Well, CRAP! I certainly hope I wake up sometime soon. I'd far and away prefer to push one out than be cut open.
Some good news- I'm supposed to not do house work. The May 2000 edition of the magazine Parents reports that overworking myself could bring me closer to such a fate, so I'm supposed to take it easy. The boy will be thrilled to hear this!
Still, more reading points out that a lack of iron in the body can also contribute to the tiredness. This is something I can remedy with iron supplements (which, after checking with my doctor, is fine), and eating more meat. I'm not a vegetarian, but meat is not really my thing, so I'll probably rely on things like eggs more than pork chops. Who knows though? Cravings change daily!
Other websites suggest eating a more balanced diet, taking "cat naps" of 30 minutes a couple times a day, and getting exercise- as this can help increase happy hormones in the body :)
I'll certainly try it all out, but all the same, if you're talking to me and I suddenly seem as though I might pass out- find me a soft, soft bed and let me drift into the wacky world of pregnancy dreams. I'll take you there with me one day... but that's a post in and of itself!
Friday, February 15, 2008
One Helluva Valentine's day
UFFDA. I think that's Norwegian for "Oh my goodness," but even if it's not, it's Nelson for exasperation. The kid is currently burrowing into my lower back. I think they're angry at me for not sleeping as much as I wish I could. You'd think little Addison/Ethan would be a bit more understanding; I did switch jobs for their well-being! Although the impetus may have initially been my screaming feet...
Originally, I was a server at Applebees. I had gotten the job the very day that I found out I was pregnant, but I deluded myself into thinking I had the pain endurance ability to push through. Yeah, right. I have nothing but respect for the women who do pull off being a server for 9 months of pregnancy, but I am not one of them. I am the one who wishes she could have the epidural to quell even Braxton-Hicks contractions.
In any case, I've left Applebees, and I am currently working from home. The company I work for has me editing medical transcripts, which is beyond convenient for those times, like now, where the baby is not interested in me paying attention to anything but their pounding feet. It's also great because it means I can work right up till labor, and resume when I'm coherent. Considering what Valentines Day did to my checkbook, this is a lifesaver!
Speaking of Valentines Day- Happy Hallmark Profits Celebration! No, I'm not one of those people who are overly cynical about everything; honestly, I love Cupid Day. What I hate is the uncertainty surrounding it. What should I wear? Where are we going? What should I expect? What should I get him? OI VEY. Italian this time. I'm switching it up.
This year, the boy was particularly hard to shop for. His interests are basically fish, video games, and me. Considering he already has every video game in the world, that leaves me with fish. This is also problematic, because he already has FOUR FISH TANKS in the house. There's two in the laundry room, one in our roommate's room, and one, extra-large, 125 gallon tank eating up space in the living room. He won't even let me get pretty fish! They're this strange looking aggressive ones that eat pretty fish.
Still, after hours and hours of agony, I found myself left with no choice. I would have to do fish. Thing is, the tanks are all pretty full, so my options were limited. I finally snapped, decided to hell with taking a stand, and bought a new fish tank. This time, though, I included pretty little African cichlids, so the stand for beauty remains, I suppose.
Now, the boy did good this year. He took me out to eat at a nice French place downtown and then surprised me by sweeping me off to a jacuzzi suite at a nearby hotel filled with roses and a big stuffed bear. Definitely caught me off-guard. I love him to death, but he's not real romantic, so this was BIG for him.
The most romantic part of the evening, though, was his patience. It was late by the time we got there, and I was exhausted. I took a bath, we cuddled and canoodled, and I fell asleep in bed next to him. Not quite the hot and steamy Valentines you'd anticipate, right?
THIS IS THE MORAL OF THE POST, FOR THOSE OF YOU INTERESTED. When you're pregnant, and tired to a breaking point, and emotionally drained, and all you want to do is sleep, the understanding of the one you love is the one thing you crave most. My guy may not have thought the night was a hit, but the bliss of falling asleep in his arms made this literally the best Valentine's day ever. He even rubbed my belly and asked how baby was! What a gift!
Well, it's time for this momma to get back to work. All you men out there, though, take heed: Love is patient. Don't you forget it.
Originally, I was a server at Applebees. I had gotten the job the very day that I found out I was pregnant, but I deluded myself into thinking I had the pain endurance ability to push through. Yeah, right. I have nothing but respect for the women who do pull off being a server for 9 months of pregnancy, but I am not one of them. I am the one who wishes she could have the epidural to quell even Braxton-Hicks contractions.
In any case, I've left Applebees, and I am currently working from home. The company I work for has me editing medical transcripts, which is beyond convenient for those times, like now, where the baby is not interested in me paying attention to anything but their pounding feet. It's also great because it means I can work right up till labor, and resume when I'm coherent. Considering what Valentines Day did to my checkbook, this is a lifesaver!
Speaking of Valentines Day- Happy Hallmark Profits Celebration! No, I'm not one of those people who are overly cynical about everything; honestly, I love Cupid Day. What I hate is the uncertainty surrounding it. What should I wear? Where are we going? What should I expect? What should I get him? OI VEY. Italian this time. I'm switching it up.
This year, the boy was particularly hard to shop for. His interests are basically fish, video games, and me. Considering he already has every video game in the world, that leaves me with fish. This is also problematic, because he already has FOUR FISH TANKS in the house. There's two in the laundry room, one in our roommate's room, and one, extra-large, 125 gallon tank eating up space in the living room. He won't even let me get pretty fish! They're this strange looking aggressive ones that eat pretty fish.
Still, after hours and hours of agony, I found myself left with no choice. I would have to do fish. Thing is, the tanks are all pretty full, so my options were limited. I finally snapped, decided to hell with taking a stand, and bought a new fish tank. This time, though, I included pretty little African cichlids, so the stand for beauty remains, I suppose.
Now, the boy did good this year. He took me out to eat at a nice French place downtown and then surprised me by sweeping me off to a jacuzzi suite at a nearby hotel filled with roses and a big stuffed bear. Definitely caught me off-guard. I love him to death, but he's not real romantic, so this was BIG for him.
The most romantic part of the evening, though, was his patience. It was late by the time we got there, and I was exhausted. I took a bath, we cuddled and canoodled, and I fell asleep in bed next to him. Not quite the hot and steamy Valentines you'd anticipate, right?
THIS IS THE MORAL OF THE POST, FOR THOSE OF YOU INTERESTED. When you're pregnant, and tired to a breaking point, and emotionally drained, and all you want to do is sleep, the understanding of the one you love is the one thing you crave most. My guy may not have thought the night was a hit, but the bliss of falling asleep in his arms made this literally the best Valentine's day ever. He even rubbed my belly and asked how baby was! What a gift!
Well, it's time for this momma to get back to work. All you men out there, though, take heed: Love is patient. Don't you forget it.
Wednesday, February 13, 2008
Welcome to the Rollercoaster
Hey guys! Welcome to what I'm discovering is the ride of a lifetime. For those of you who stumbled upon this or me or are just plain interested, my name is Lauren, and I am a junior at Western Kentucky University. I'm majoring in Organizational and Corporate Communication, and am a member of the WKU Forensics team. I've been in a relationship with the same man for over two years now, and he is one of the single most supportive and loving individuals I've ever met. I'm lucky to have him in my life- that's for sure. And I, as of yesterday, am four months pregnant.
So that's the background. Or rather, what's relevant for you to get what's happening now. If you are squeemish, or not interested in how this whole situation came about, then perhaps you better skip this post.
At 16 years old, I was diagnosed with endometriosis, just like almost every woman in my family. Essentially what this means is that every time Aunt Flow visits, the tissue in my uterus gets stripped away so forcefully that it causes scarring- making it difficult for a fertilized egg to ever latch on. I have for years been told that pregnancy was not in my future.
In an attempt to regulate the condition, I was put on birth control. I was pretty faithful about taking it, especially considering the relationship I'm in. I was on the pill for years leading up to the conception, and was on it for two months after conception. As my doctor put it, this should have spurred a miscarriage.
As if that wasn't enough, I had my period several weeks after conceiving.
All of this was part of the reason that when the test results read "pregnant" in mid-December, I nearly fell off my chair.
Now, I won't pretend that this news was immediately received with shouts of joy and open arms. Though my boyfriend and I have always been interested in children, and marriage has been considered inevitable for over a year now, the timing of this life-changing event certainly could have been better. My boyfriend graduates this year, but I still have a year left, and while we can get by, our joint income is not astronomical by any means.
However, the tears and questions without answers did not last long. Considering the odds this kid had already beat, the conclusion was that this child was a fighter, and clearly, fate had seen it fit to make us the baby's guardian. Given the chances of me conceiving again, this news was a blessing, whether it was on our timetable or not.
Man oh man. Telling people. Scary as hell. For real. And back to writing in complete sentences... We were totally scared out of our wits about telling anyone. Though I told my best friend almost immediately, both of us dreaded telling our parents and close friends due to concerns about responses. Our first thought was to wait until we knew the sex of the baby. I mean, we figured if the baby had a definite name, they'd be considered a person in their eyes, and the Grandparents-to-be couldn't get angry. Could they?
This made Christmas one of the craziest time period of my life. At this point, I was about two months pregnant, so I wasn't showing or anything, but my body was yelling at me constantly to make sure I didn't forget. Air travel makes me miserable, my morning sickness was more like all day nausea, and my sister's affinity for punching me in the stomach was suddenly unacceptable on every level. I spent that short amount of time at home panicked and paranoid.
I still kept my secret pretty well until a week or two into January. I was suffering from a terrible head cold (which I later learned had more to do with the pregnancy than I thought- but more on that later), and didn't know what medicines were safe. Miserable and exhausted, I caved and called the one person I knew would have answers- my mom.
My mom had me at age 19. She and my dad had to go through hell, but stuck it out and stuck together. From the time I was young, they had encouraged me to avoid their path in life. It wasn't that they regretted the choices they'd made; they just wanted an easier go for me. I was afraid they might get angry that I'd followed in their footsteps. Instead, my mom cried with me and pledged all the support my family could muster.
Having the support of my family made life much easier. I now had a continual source of information for questions about medicines, foods and lifestyle choices. The next step was to tell my team.
Telling my Director of Forensics surprised me. She's a fairly conservative individual, but she just said she was proud of me for keeping the baby, for wanting to continue to compete, and then told me that she had competed at four tournaments pregnant herself! It blew my mind.
Knowing that I had the support of my family and my coaches, I let the cat out of the bag and told the world about the pregnancy. Except my boyfriend's family- that was his news to share, and I wasn't going to touch the subject with a ten foot pole.
If there's one thing I've learned thus far, it's that people will surprise you. I am surprised every day by the outpouring of support I have received from friends, family and total strangers. I have never felt so loved or safe in my life, and it's a time when things are most uncertain for me.
I know that this is not the norm, though. I've known girls thrown out of their houses, who have felt as though they have no options, who have suffered under a sense of shame and embarrassment. That's not ok. I know I can't save the world, but if there's one thing I want to accomplish, it's to help turn the tide on that wave of shame.
So come with me on this journey. I'll try to keep updates on the pregnancy throughout the next five months. If you're pregnant, you can laugh with me as you draw similarities between us. If you're not, you can laugh at me as I stumble my way through this mess we call life. But regardless of who you are, you can realize that just because I'm pregnant does not mean my life is over. A new chapter has just begun. Things are about to get interesting. You ready?
So that's the background. Or rather, what's relevant for you to get what's happening now. If you are squeemish, or not interested in how this whole situation came about, then perhaps you better skip this post.
At 16 years old, I was diagnosed with endometriosis, just like almost every woman in my family. Essentially what this means is that every time Aunt Flow visits, the tissue in my uterus gets stripped away so forcefully that it causes scarring- making it difficult for a fertilized egg to ever latch on. I have for years been told that pregnancy was not in my future.
In an attempt to regulate the condition, I was put on birth control. I was pretty faithful about taking it, especially considering the relationship I'm in. I was on the pill for years leading up to the conception, and was on it for two months after conception. As my doctor put it, this should have spurred a miscarriage.
As if that wasn't enough, I had my period several weeks after conceiving.
All of this was part of the reason that when the test results read "pregnant" in mid-December, I nearly fell off my chair.
Now, I won't pretend that this news was immediately received with shouts of joy and open arms. Though my boyfriend and I have always been interested in children, and marriage has been considered inevitable for over a year now, the timing of this life-changing event certainly could have been better. My boyfriend graduates this year, but I still have a year left, and while we can get by, our joint income is not astronomical by any means.
However, the tears and questions without answers did not last long. Considering the odds this kid had already beat, the conclusion was that this child was a fighter, and clearly, fate had seen it fit to make us the baby's guardian. Given the chances of me conceiving again, this news was a blessing, whether it was on our timetable or not.
Man oh man. Telling people. Scary as hell. For real. And back to writing in complete sentences... We were totally scared out of our wits about telling anyone. Though I told my best friend almost immediately, both of us dreaded telling our parents and close friends due to concerns about responses. Our first thought was to wait until we knew the sex of the baby. I mean, we figured if the baby had a definite name, they'd be considered a person in their eyes, and the Grandparents-to-be couldn't get angry. Could they?
This made Christmas one of the craziest time period of my life. At this point, I was about two months pregnant, so I wasn't showing or anything, but my body was yelling at me constantly to make sure I didn't forget. Air travel makes me miserable, my morning sickness was more like all day nausea, and my sister's affinity for punching me in the stomach was suddenly unacceptable on every level. I spent that short amount of time at home panicked and paranoid.
I still kept my secret pretty well until a week or two into January. I was suffering from a terrible head cold (which I later learned had more to do with the pregnancy than I thought- but more on that later), and didn't know what medicines were safe. Miserable and exhausted, I caved and called the one person I knew would have answers- my mom.
My mom had me at age 19. She and my dad had to go through hell, but stuck it out and stuck together. From the time I was young, they had encouraged me to avoid their path in life. It wasn't that they regretted the choices they'd made; they just wanted an easier go for me. I was afraid they might get angry that I'd followed in their footsteps. Instead, my mom cried with me and pledged all the support my family could muster.
Having the support of my family made life much easier. I now had a continual source of information for questions about medicines, foods and lifestyle choices. The next step was to tell my team.
Telling my Director of Forensics surprised me. She's a fairly conservative individual, but she just said she was proud of me for keeping the baby, for wanting to continue to compete, and then told me that she had competed at four tournaments pregnant herself! It blew my mind.
Knowing that I had the support of my family and my coaches, I let the cat out of the bag and told the world about the pregnancy. Except my boyfriend's family- that was his news to share, and I wasn't going to touch the subject with a ten foot pole.
If there's one thing I've learned thus far, it's that people will surprise you. I am surprised every day by the outpouring of support I have received from friends, family and total strangers. I have never felt so loved or safe in my life, and it's a time when things are most uncertain for me.
I know that this is not the norm, though. I've known girls thrown out of their houses, who have felt as though they have no options, who have suffered under a sense of shame and embarrassment. That's not ok. I know I can't save the world, but if there's one thing I want to accomplish, it's to help turn the tide on that wave of shame.
So come with me on this journey. I'll try to keep updates on the pregnancy throughout the next five months. If you're pregnant, you can laugh with me as you draw similarities between us. If you're not, you can laugh at me as I stumble my way through this mess we call life. But regardless of who you are, you can realize that just because I'm pregnant does not mean my life is over. A new chapter has just begun. Things are about to get interesting. You ready?
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)